It's been a few days, we have been busy busy! Wednesday we made the trip to Santa fe and it was quite nice except for the huge hail storm we ran into! It was crazy! Never been in a hail storm and there was so much that they actually got the plow trucks out after it was done. More than an inch and a half on the ground when it was all done. We ended up finding a bridge for coverage after getting pretty beat up! It was insane because we were in the middle of the desert. after that, we enjoyed the rest of the drive.



I have gotten to spend quite a bit of time on the bike. The scenery is beautiful out here. Santa fe is an interesting place. All of the houses looks like this...



It is really a unique place. I don't think I will ever come back if amber n Jacob leave. His internship is over at the end of the month so then they will prolly move back to STL. Denver was so amazing. Well, don't want to be too long, we r leaving in the morning, but here is some more pics!






We r taking 2 days to get back to STL and then back to boring IN. I have been so spoiled with these amazing rides out here, not looking forward to riding in the most boring state in America :)
Tony

I am on a huge motorcycle trip with my father in law right now. We are heading to new mexico with a few stops here and there. we made it to Denver this morning. We hit horrible wind on the trip from basically Topeka KS on. At one point it was so strong it blew me off the road, so we stopped for supper to wait it out. Ended up about 100mi from Denver, getting a hotel for the nite. here is a pic. Under the clouds is a lower cloud. It was that dirt cloud that took me out! Haha I kept the bike up, but ended in the grass!

Here is the sunset after the wind calmed down

We ended up staying at the hotel and ended up meeting someone w the same VTX as me, so this morning we rode out all together. He is part of the vtxoa, which is a website designed for ppl to communicate that have the same bikes as Clint and I so it was cool to meet someone from the website

We got to Denver a little before lunch and ashley's grandparents showed us around and fed us and then I took off by myself up to the mountains! Here's some pics. We have had great weather. All that snow is just up and the mountains and it's surprisingly warm! The climate is so different from home! It must be the humidity.

Biology 101

   For those of you who do not know, the past few months I have been taking a class at Huntington University.  When I was going to college, I ended up commuting the last year, and could not fit in a science class with a lab so I hadn't officially graduated.  All I needed to graduate was that one class, and it had been hanging over my head for years.  I had been trying to finish the class, but I just couldn't fit it into my work schedule at the church, or something always would come up.  So... once I resigned, I knew it was a perfect time for me to take the class. Plus, I want to start looking into getting my masters soon so I needed to get that undergrad work all finished up.  That being said... the class finishes up in just a week. I had my last lab today and only have one more week of the lectures, then the final.
   It's been a great experience actually.  I have learned quite a bit from the lecture part of the class, but the lab has been really interesting!  Today we had the chance to dissect a sheep heart and eye.  In the lecture class, there is about 50+ students and I lucked out with only 9 in my lab so we have gotten to know each other pretty well with such a small lab.
  Even though I have had to learn about things that I would say wouldn't be my favorite subject, I must say that it is crazy how "life" works.  Just like today, taking a look at the heart and seeing how it works, the valves that keep the blood from running the wrong way, and the system that cleans the blood, even the nervous system and how we have nerves that don't have to reach all the way to the brain to create an action so that we can protect ourselves.  It is so crazy how we are designed.  I just cant imagine that there are scientists who know how the cells all work together at just the right time, even some of those designed as little motors and there is absolutely no way that they could function without all the tiny little parts, still think that we are not designed intelligently.  The thought of no god is completely absurd if you look at our bodies, the organs, the brain, even our bones!
   The thing I think I have taken from this class the most is that no matter what area in the study of life you look at, God makes himself known.  I love the thought that God has made us! He is the designer of the blueprints for our bodies!

        You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body,
             and knit me together in my mother's womb.
        Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
            You workmanship is marvelous-- and how well I know it.
                                                                   ~Psalm 139.13f NLT

Whenever you wonder if God cares about you, I strongly suggest you just take a few moments and research something about life.  Take a look at some of the details of our organs, take a look at the creation of the world, take some time to think about how all the parts of the brain work together so that we don't go crazy.  Even though sometimes we think that we have it rough, think of all the wonderful things God has given us.  Think about the fact that you don't have a disease where you cant recognize faces, think about the fact that you can see colors, shades, shapes, think about the fact that you can organize your thoughts, and write them on a piece of paper, or type them with your fingers onto a keyboard!  We are so wonderfully complex and I hope I never forget it!  Thanks Huntington University for letting me study in your biology class and learn so much about the life that God has constructed for me!

Submission

Well, Ashley is already in bed, and her last words before I shut the door were "don't spend any money" :) I may have a small problem with that lately (give me a break, it is chrome season is it not?).  As I'm sitting here on the couch, trying to be quiet so she can sleep, I decided I might as well do some writing.
    For the past few weeks, I have been reading a chapter every week or so out of an old book I have from Bethel College from one of my spiritual formation classes: The Celebration of Discipline, by Richard Foster.  I figure that I am never going to stumble upon discipline, so I might as well read a chapter in it occasionally.  The book of course is split up into chapters on different disciplines and todays chapter that I read was on submission.  At first glance, I thought to myself, ugh... here we go with submission (a sure sign that I am in need of a chapter on this discipline!).
  He started out the chapter discussing the fact that with every discipline, we gain a freedom.  The discipline is in all honesty just a means to the end.  In order to be good at something, say being a magnificent guitarist, you first must work on your chords and scales.  Yes, your fingers will hurt at first, and it will take up much time, but in the end, you gain the freedom to be able to play beautiful music.  I thought this was an interesting way to start out a chapter on submission.  As the chapter unfolds, Foster described that people will get all bend out of shape over something if it doesn't go their way.  Just watched a tv show episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where someone was getting married.  Classic example... I mean does it really matter if the flowers are off a slight shade... anyways, this is so true what Foster has to say.  The freedom that comes with the discipline of submission is we don't have to live in the bondage of our own self-gratification!  "In submission we are at last free to value other people.  Their dreams and plans become important to us.  We have entered into a new, wonderful, glorious freedom--the freedom to give up our own rights for the good of others.  For the first time we can love people unconditionally.  We have given up the right to demand that they return our love.  No longer do we feel that we have to be treated a certain way.  We rejoice in their successes.  We feel genuine sorrow for their failures.  It is of little consequence that our plans are frustrated if their plans succeed.  We discover that it is far better to serve our neighbor than to have our own way."
   What a concept.  Throughout the rest of this chapter he laid out how Biblically we are given examples all through the New Testament of course starting with Jesus, who not only died on the cross for us (the ultimate self-denial) but he also lived an entire life of submission/sacrfice.  If you watch him throughout the gospels, he constantly put others first, and in bizarre new ways!  You would never see a leader bend down to wash the feet of his disciples.  Jesus gave us a brand new way to view others: by living a cross-life.  And if the King of Glory can do it, why should we not?!  Throughout the New Testament even into the letters to the church, how many times do we see we must put others first and think of them above ourselves.  One point that Foster laid out was that this is much harder for the more dominant partner, say the Husband or the master.  It's nothing for the slave to serve the master because it's part of who he is, but for the master to bend down and help the slave with his needs, now that is sacrifice.  As leaders, I believe we are held to a higher standard because of this.  We have a harder time living a live of virtue and discipline, but we must be strong to demonstrate it to those who are following us!  Real quick, right at the end, Foster points out seven areas of submission that I want to share with you.

   1. The first act of submission is to the Truine God.

   2.  The second act of submission is to the Scripture.

   3.  The third act of submission is to the church.

   4.  The fourth act of submission is to our neighbors and
           to those we meet in the course of our daily lives.

   5.  The fith act of submission is to the believing community,
           the body of Christ (the church).

   6.  The sixth act of submission is to the broken and despised.

   7.  The seventh act of submission is to the world.

If you want some more clarification on just what Foster means on these acts, I encourage you to get your hands on a copy of this book and read it, read it again, and read it once more.  Every time I reread this book I gain so much knowledge from it! One of my favorites!  Foster describes Submission and service going hand in hand.  The best way to be submissive is to serve, so this weekend as we are thinking of Easter sunday, be sure to think of just what does the cross stand for and what does it mean to serve. Submission and Sacrifice.

Motorcycle Therapy

    We finally got a taste of warm weather here the past few weeks and now its cold again. yuck...  The best part of warm weather for me is the motorcycle. Last weekend I went over 500 miles.  It's not just riding the bike, it's the therapy that comes with it for me.  When I'm on my motorcycle, it recharges my batteries, gives me a chance to think.  Because we've had some bad weather lately, my hours on the bike have been very limited and I'm starting to go crazy :)  

    The main thing on my mind lately is Sunday mornings.  As weird as it seems, the thing that I used to love most, is now the thing I like the least.  During the week I can go about my business and live my life, but on Sunday when we go to church, it reminds me that I am not in ministry right now, doing what I love.  It's more than just church for me.  When I am sitting in a chair participating with the congregation, it is actually frustrating for me because I am not actively helping out with the service.  I know it sounds funny, but I really don't like going to church because of this.  We have found a great church to go to.  It's only a few miles from our house and very similar to the style that Ashley and I both love.  I get frustrated not being on staff, although I know that this time right now, this time of transition will be very beneficial for me in the future.  So... how do I deal with it?

    The easiest thing for me to do is simply not go to church.  Although, I have only taken this approach a few times, it is nice to be able to miss a sunday morning service occasionally without repercussions.  Never fear, I watch the video online so I am not missing the teaching. I also listen to sermons on my ride to Huntington for my class, so I definitely get my filling of teaching (my favorite preacher right now BY FAR is Perry Noble @Newspring church in S. Carolina, if you haven't heard of him I strongly suggest listening to one of his sermons).  

    That is my last resort though.  Most of the time I ask God what I am supposed to be learning in this time.  I know that for certain Ashley and I are where we are supposed to be.  In some ways its great to be able to step away from the church and look and see, experience life, and spend time with my wife.  When I was in the church it was constant work.  I always thought about work, the next lesson plan, the next event, who I should be spending more time with, what game I need to be going to... and it was unhealthy.  It was my fault.  I did not give Ashley enough of my time and I do not want to live the rest of my life like that.  So... right now, I am learning how to deal with that.  I am learning how to manage my time.  I am learning how to go through a meal without checking my email on my phone, or answering every call I get.  It's alright for us to be inaccessible at times.  Ask me that a year ago and I would have told you that I am available any time, day or night.  Now, I am learning that in order to have a life and family of my own, there are times when my wife is more important than any other thing in the world, including txt messaging.  

    God is making me into a better person and a better pastor right now.  Sometimes its really hard for me to deal with working at Sears, not doing what I was created to and other times, its really easy.  Lately, because I have been deprived from my motorcycle time, it's been harder for me.  When it gets hard, it seems thats when I have to make it intentional otherwise its so easy for me to get bitter.  I have had a horrible problem lately looking online a church position openings.  There are a few churches around this area looking for pastors (youth, worship, associate...) that I would love to send my resume to but I just don't feel like God is leading me there yet.  He is still molding me and shaping me and I must be patient right now. 

    Another way that I have been dealing with all of this is I have been taking advantage of being able to go to other churches!  Last Saturday night Ashley and I went to Pine Hills, our church, but then on Sunday morning we visited Blackhawk Ministries.  One of my coworkers told me about her church and we wanted to check it out so we went to see their church.  Just visiting other churches makes this time more valuable for me.  First, I never get to visit other churches so its great to be able to do that, and second, I get all sorts of ideas!  When we were sitting there, I had so many ideas of things that were good ideas that I will probably be able to implement in my future.  God is helping me grow in so many ways I can't even see them all!

Real People

   Here we are in April.  The weather is changing and I am so excited about being able to finally get back outside.  Fort Wayne living is quite different from the country and we are still getting used to it.  Even PJ is having to make some adjustments because he has to share "his yard" with some other dogs who live in our building :)  Along with some of the other changes include stoplights and traffic (ugh), being able to be anywhere in about 15 minutes, and meeting tons of new people!

   Along that note is what I want to share.  I'm not sure who is reading this blog so I want to just share some things I am learning while living.  God has placed us in a new place and we are learning tons right now!  I am loving working at Sears.  Not really the job, which is just ok, but I love working with the people!  It's not quite fast food "do you want frys with that" type relationships, or the deep relationships that I had with some people when I was working in the church, but it's kind of an in between short term relationship.  I think the reason that I am so good at my job is I can stand around with a customer for hours building a friendship and hearing about their lives and then sell them something that they need that they came in for.  In just a few short weeks I have made quite a base of customers that come to only me when they come to sears!  I love being able to just listen to people and I know that there is a bunch of people that truly just need someone to listen to them.  I know when you think of someone working in the Sears lawn and garden section you don't really think you are going to tell your life story to them, but you would be so surprised at how many people need just that!  People here are so real.  I love it!  Whether its the customers or my coworkers, people are REAL.  They aren't ashamed to tell me about the mistakes they've made in their lives and they are not going to try to cover them up either!  I have realized that even people who don't go to church, believe it or not, know there is a right and wrong.  Some of them choose to ignore it, but most of them in their hearts know there is something more than this life.  I have had the chance over the past few months to be able to live an example where people openly walk up to me and say "what is that about you?"  I'm not trying to brag, but I tell you, people can notice God flowing out of you.  This job has created a craving in my heart for the "real person."  The person who doesn't go to church and live a fake life and pretend that everything is perfect, that pretends that as long as they look good on sunday morning they can live however they want, the person who isn't afraid to share their mistakes with the people they trust.  I'm not saying I will never work in a church again, but I love when people are real.  We live in a "condo" style apartment, so we only have a few neighbors and their doors are a little ways away.  If we wanted to, I could go my entire time living here without talking to them.  I have spent quite a bit of time in the garage lately getting the bike cleaned and my neighbors are starting to sneak out of their houses and we are making new friends.  Once again, these people aren't church goers.  They have made mistakes, they know it, but after just a few conversations they are willing to talk about some pretty deep stuff with me.  When we moved I was of course discouraged that I wasn't jumping right into another job at a church.  I know we need some time for Ashley and I to be married and build our family first so that our ministry can be the strongest and that was the push of the move, but I was still disappointed about leaving what I love and working at some retail job.  I have to admit though, I have had some amazing talks with some people that have really changed my perspective of what it means to minister!  I am excited about meeting new people.  Of course the last thing I try to talk about is the fact that I went to school to be a 'pastor' cause then their attitude changes a lil', but these people are so real. I love it, and in some of our conversations I have already started building a relationship with some people that I KNOW God is laying on my heart! It is truly an amazing experience that I have been missing out on being in such a tight Christian bubble.

 People want to be loved on.  I know this is getting long so here is my point:  Make sure to go out of your way to start finding people to just be there for.  Make a list of some friends that aren't Christians to pray for.  Can't think of any? SHAME ON YOU! Our sole purpose on this earth is to tell people about Jesus everywhere and if you know no one who needs Jesus, you are wasting your time!  I pray my short time here in Fort Wayne is spent well building friendships so that Christ may open the door and I can share my first love, Christ, with those who need him so badly.

It's about Time

After 3 months of not being in ministry, I finally decided it might be time to start jotting down some things in my blog again.  Wow, has our life been a whole whirlwind of changes.  It is no fun to uproot from everything you know and are so accustomed to, but Ashley and I felt that it was time for us to move on.  In December we found a really nice place to live in Fort Wayne (most important a garage for the motorcycle :) ) and moved out of Berne basically by the end of the year.  First and foremost, I must put my marriage first and after three months of being out of the ministry, even with all the hours of praying and trying to make sure that we could swing this jump, I am positive that we are doing the right thing and God has given us so many confirmations along the way that have been such a blessing.  I am so excited for the future the Lord has for Ashley and I.  Right now, I know that I am being molded and shaped into who I am supposed to be.  Sometimes you look back at where you were just a short period ago and can't believe where you were. God is shaping me into the man that he made me to be first with His relationship with Him, and second as a husband to Ashley, my wife.  I have recently started working at Sears in the Lawn & Garden department and really do love the change of pace.  Yes, I loved working in the church, especially with the teens in our youth group, but right now, I am loving being able to minister at Sears.  I am making some awesome friendships and having a blast learning how to make commission. :)  Did I ever imagine that I would be out of the ministry once I started, not really, but I am so thankful every DAY that I am not the one making the plans.  God has a course charted for us and do I know where we will be in a year, or 5 years, no, and I'm so glad!  Faith is not knowing where you are going. Faith is confidence that there is someone else leading you with the best plan!  How true this passage is: "The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you. (ps. 32.8)"
  In this time, Ashley and I are just falling more in love with each other.  We are learning to rely on each other and learning to put our God first, and our marriage second, and finally everything else after that.  It is so hard to explain when you are working in a church how easy it is to become that church. Everything becomes about the church, the meetings, the people, the crisis', and it's so easy to stop putting your priorities in the right place.  God has given us the perfect place to build a strong foundation.  I miss working in the church terribly, but I know that this period can be as long or short as I want it to, and when we are ready, God will place us where we need to be!  So, as for now, Ashley will be working at Parkview Hospital and I at sears, and God is growing us both.  We all need healing, even those who are not sick.  I am putting all of my trust, all of my faith, into the God Almighty.  During this time I know, because the process has already started, that God is making me a better man and I am thankful for the life that He has given me.  We have been attending a church close to our house, Pine Hills Church.  Thank you Ben and Kara for introducing it to us.  We need a church family right now.  God is providing for us. He is truly an amazing God.